Rush Processes, Not People: A Reflection on Presence, Impact, and the Cost of Being in a Hurry

A tilted retaining wall… angled directly into the walking sidewalk. It had been that way for years. It was not about to fall, but fixing it was simply beyond what the homeowner could manage on her own. I met the homeowner through Repair Affair, a community service initiative in Ashland, Kentucky, that helps people with home repairs. I told her that the scope of a new retaining wall was beyond the scope of Repair Affair. And I remembered her. A few years later, Kentucky Power had offered a grant to the CAReS organization and I was a director on that non-profit board. The City of Ashland identified the homes that could benefit; and I would find the contracting companies that would do the work. The retaining wall was not on the original list of homes to be repaired. But, with those funds, I got a vendor to come out and I got that wall replaced. It was years between identifying it and getting it done. It wasn’t easy and it did not fall into the original job list. I just stayed alert to the need and took care of it when the opportunity arose. 

I was thinking this morning about something that makes me feel good about myself. And I felt good upon the completion of that renovation.

But, we are busy. And it is difficult to identify needs and get those needs completed when you are busy.

And most of us are very busy.

Here is something I do not say out loud enough: I have a real fear that my love of knocking out tasks causes me to walk past people who need help. Not metaphorically: literally. I can be so locked in to what is next on my list that I miss what is right in front of me. I value deep conversation; I care about being present for people; I find genuine meaning in helping someone think through a hard problem. And still, there is a version of me that moves through the day with blinders on, checking boxes, closing loops, hitting deadlines; while someone nearby is quietly waiting to be seen. You can’t have it all or do it all.

There is a study that has stayed with me. Researchers found that 95 percent of people on their way to deliver a talk about helping others walked past a person in visible distress; not because they lacked compassion, but because they were in a hurry. People rushing to give a talk on helping others ignored someone who needed help. The irony is almost too sharp to sit with comfortably and I know I am not immune to it. Urgency narrows vision; it collapses the world down to the next task, the next meeting, the next deliverable; and in that narrowing, real human moments get lost. I know this because I have felt the narrowing. I have chosen the tasks.

I gave a talk once on engineering standards and the use of checklists in healthcare settings. It was a practical, professional presentation; the kind you give and mostly forget about afterward because it felt routine. One of the people in the room was a student. I do not remember what I said that landed for her; it was probably something I considered a throwaway comment. But ten years later, I attended a presentation, walked up to the female presenter after her presentation, thanked her, and prepared to make my way out. She signaled for my attention. She told me that she had built a career as an engineer working to improve the profitability of a healthcare organization hospital and she told me that my talk was the moment that pointed her toward it. I had no idea. I just made a throw-away comment about engineers getting into healthcare. Those moments make me proud.

That is the part that humbles me most. You rarely know which conversations will plant something that grows for a decade. You rarely know when you are the person who shifts someone's direction; which means the only real option is to stay present, every time, even when it does not feel significant. Even when you are tired. Even when your task list is long and the clock is moving.

The phrase I keep coming back to is this: rush processes, not people. Move with urgency through the logistics; the paperwork, the scheduling, the mechanics of getting things done; but slow down when a person is in front of you. Stay alert to the need that might sit just outside the scope of what you were asked to do. That is what happened with the retaining wall. I could have forgotten about the retaining wall, but I kept it in the back of my mind. A few years later a grant came through. I applied the grant funds towards the job. I did it anyway because the need was still real and the person mattered.

If you are an entrepreneur or a professional reading this, you probably feel this tension too. The pull between productivity and presence; between efficiency and empathy. You do have to choose one over the other in your day-to-day life. But you have to be intentional about your choice, because the default, when things get busy, is almost always productivity.

If the financial side of your business creates noise instead of clarity, that noise makes it harder to stay present for the people who need you. Visit blackonyx.solutions for a free consultation; and let's clear the way together.

I do not always make the right choice. But I keep trying to.